Mushroom Mission: Impossible
by Ziptango
Summary: How hard could collecting mushrooms in Mushroom Kingdom be? Incomplete.
1. Mission 1: Pizza Fingering

**Disclaimer~** We don't own Mario Brothers *grumble* 

**Authors' (plural) Notes~**

**Ziptango:** Since my brothers are obsessed with Mario Brothers, I thought I might give a try at something different . . . with a slight humourous spout *wink* Oh and my one bro gets a little credit for helping me out. 

**Roonerdude:** What do you mean a little?! 

**Ziptango:** *rolls eyes* Okay, a little more. 

**Roonerdude:** But I helped You make it more funnier!! 

**Ziptango:** Okay, fine. You're the little nagging voice in my head. But as you can see ladies and gents, the grammar skills are aaaalllll mine! Muhaha! 

**Roonerdude:** Grrrrrrrrrrr *starts attacking Zip* 

**Ziptangos:** *swats him away* Don't mind us, just start reading! 

**Roonerdude:** And when Mario is talking don't forget to make his accent high and squeaky! 

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**Mushroom Mission: Impossible**   
**By Ziptango and Roonerdude**

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"Mama mia! Zat smells wonderful Princess!" an animated voice entered the kitchen. 

Princess Peach spun around, the folds of her pink dress gliding to catch up. 

"Why thank you Mario, but it's not take out." 

"It izn't?" Mario glanced at the pizza in the oven. 

"No, it's Di Giorno!" 

He scratched his mustache slightly while titling his head, "Oh . . .okie." 

Stepping around him, she rushed to the cabinets pulling out several exotic spices. Mario looked on with interest. Again she went around him to the other side of kitchen with her busy work. 

"So . . . iz it done yet?" Mario's eyes followed her. 

"Nope," came her high-pitched reply. 

"How about now?" 

"Sorry Mario, not yet." 

A few moments pass. 

"Now?" 

"NO!" her normally beautiful face flared with annoyance. 

Our super hero, afraid of nothing, backed away from the agitated lady. Accepting his submission, she ignored him and made way to the fridge. 

Five minutes dragged by. 

"So, it'z done now, right?" 

"NO! GET OUTTA THE KITCHEN!" 

Mario galloped out in confusion as a crown hurdled towards his head. He stood outside catching his breath until an idea suddenly struck him. 

"Oh Princess!" he coed from the doorway, "I dink Toad is playing in your laundry again!" 

Peach came to a sudden stop with a gasp as the spatula in her hand plummeted to the floor. Past images of Toad frolicking among her clothes with a bra strapped around his head gave her a slight tremble. 

"Why that little CRETIN!" 

Mario stepped back with a smirk as she zipped by waving a cheesy spatula like a knife. Now finding the premises secure, he cautiously snuck back into the kitchen and opened the oven. Inside, a roasting pizza with a pepperoni smile and beady pineapple eyes grinned back. Smiling with satisfaction he fingered the middle and popped a cheesy, saucy finger into his mouth. 

"Mmmmm! Zat's a spicy meat-a-ball!" 

Feeling warm and fuzzy he felt compelled to try another sample, but this time it didn't taste quite so good. 

"Hmm, zat's odd." 

Closing the oven he picked up the pizza box resting on the counter. Studying the ingredients carefully, he couldn't quite put his finger on what was missing. Suddenly, approaching footsteps echoed to him. Immediately Mario shoved away and stood innocently as Princess Toadstool stomped in mumbling. 

"I hope that taught him a lesson! My favorite spatula, broken!" she held it up, exasperated. 

Mario tried blending with the wall so as not to be noticed. That spatula was deadly after all. 

Catching a glimpse of a bright red shirt, however, she paused the conversation with herself to eye him suspiciously. 

"Mario, what's on your moustache?" 

Nearly going cross-eyed, he looked down seeing bits of cheese clinging on. 

"Oh . . . eh , it'z shaving cream!" 

"You shave?" 

"Sure! Dese are very high maintenance you know," Mario smoothed out his bushel. 

"Uh huh," she rolled her eyes and went to the oven for another ten-minute checkup. 

"MARIO!" he cringed as she flipped around, "Get out before I KICK you out! Permanently!" 

"Vhat? Vhat I do?" his eyes grew wide with panic. 

"NOBODY fingers my pizza! OUT!" 

Mario scoffed to the accusation, "Never!" 

Moments later, the front door of the house flew open as Mario blasted out, his butt skipping the lawn like a rock would water. 

A little dazed and disoriented, little dancing mushrooms paraded around his dizzy head instead of stars. Suddenly, it came to him. 

"Mushrooms! Zee pizza needed mushrooms!" 

Leaping up, he ran to the door and pounded on it. 

"I've got it, I've got it!" 

"Go away!" came the muffled reply. 

"But I have an idea!" 

"Nobody EVER fingers my pizza!" 

Another scoff, "I did not!" 

"Then why's your glove stained?!" 

He wiggled his four fingers in front of him. The index was blemished red with tomato sauce. Quickly, he took the glove off and showed the Princess through the peephole. 

"Zee? Nothing there!" 

"How dense do you think I am?!" 

"It was just a little bit!" he finally confessed. 

"So you fingered AND lied! You're not allowed back until I'm finished!" 

"But you're missing a vital ingredient!" 

The plumber waited for a reply, but there was none. Then he sat on the porch with a sigh. How would he ever win Princess Toadstool's trust back? Just then, yet another idea came to him. Maybe if he collected some mushrooms throughout the kingdom and brought them home, she'd welcome him back with open arms! He could even ask all his friends for some rather then gathering them the hard way. With that in mind, he set off towards Luigi's house. After all, how hard could finding mushrooms in Mushroom Kingdom be? 

**To be continued . . .**

**All reviews are appreciated!**


	2. Mission 2: Piranha Panic

**Authors' Notes~**

**Ziptango:** Okay, you asked for it so you got it! Here's chapter two! 

**Roonerdude:** Woo hoo.. 

**Ziptango:** *looks blandly at Roon* Isn't his enthusiasm just contagious? 

**Roonerdude:** ......... 

**Ziptango:** Well, anyway, in this chapter, Luigi doesn't have much of an accent. I have a hard time picturing him with it. Besides, he's suppose to be the smart dude, so he probably picked up English fast. And since he's my fav character, I'll do him how I see fit. Just wanted to make sure that was clear as mud. 

**Roonerdude:** We mostly picked on Mario anyway. We had VERY evil thoughts. >:) 

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**Yuna62 & Celtic Boy**

**Ziptango:** Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you find this one even funnier ^-^   
**Roonerdude:** Ya thanx!! 

**Robin Lee**

**Ziptango:** Lol, wow I'm flattered! Thank you! Maybe I'll find some time to read your work as well =) And you're right, I should find the Vader in me more often >=)   
**Roonerdude:** We will continue updating, and No I won't turn to the darkside, I have to get a self defence weapon for HER *looks at Zip*   
**Ziptango:** *smug grin*   
**Roonerdude:** *Gulp* ... But plz review and we may put you on. Thanx for reading! 

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**Mushroom Mission: Impossible   
By Ziptango and Roonerdude**

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Mario skipped down a path admiring the beautiful spring day. Birds chirped merrily in the background as pink bunnies hopped to and fro blissfully among the fragrant flowers. In a particular patch of delicate daisies, a large red rose swelling in the middle caught his eye. Sighing happily, he bent over and plucked it as a gift for his darling Princess. Bringing it closer to his face, he inhaled its sweet aroma letting his eyes flutter slightly. Then the perfect petals uncoiled and fangs suddenly shot out, attaching to his nose. 

"OUCH! MAMA MIA!" 

The birds and bunnies paused to watch as Mario spun in panicked circles trying to pry off a Piranha Plant from his face. But the harder he swatted and pulled at it, the deeper its teeth clung causing his face to swell with watering eyes. After moments of desperate wrestling, Mario slumped to ground in defeat. Still, it hung on. More minutes past until a glimmer of hope came to him. The plant may refuse to give up, but so would he. Just maybe his brother could help! He was headed to his house anyway. Crawling back up to standing position, he tried to ignore the pain and continued on his journey. 

Finally, his goal came in sight. Luigi's personal cottage sat comfortably on the edge of the woods. Sprinting forward, he dashed up to the door and gave a few good raps. 

In no time, the door opened and Luigi peered out curiously. 

"Oh jeez, a Piranha Plant!" 

Before Mario could return his greeting, a broom sprung out and pelted him in the face. 

"Hey!" 

"Let me take care of that!" 

"Vhat? NO!" 

The broom struck out a couple more times with no avail. 

"Luigi, STOP!" 

His brother paused in midswing and put his weapon down,"Mario?" 

"Yes, it'z me! Give me a hand, eh?" he motioned to his nose. 

"Oh, right!" 

Reaching over, Luigi grabbed the stem and yanked. 

"YOWCH! No, not zhat way!" 

The taller plumber nodded and stepped back until an idea came to him. 

"Wait here Mario, I have some plant stunner around here somewhere!" Quickly, he left and returned with a green bottle. 

"Here we are," he smiled as he dropped a trickle on the plant. It twitched slightly in agitation before it surprisingly exploded ten times its normal size. 

Both super brothers' eyes grew wide with shock. Luigi held up the bottle and turned it over only to find he had accidentally grabbed Miracle Grow in his rush. 

"Heh, oops," Luigi shrugged. 

Mario turned to glare at him. 

"Wait, I think I have a shrinking mushroom!" he bolted away again and came back, tossing the yellow fungus at the plant. 

With a groan, the Piranha Plant shrunk ten times smaller than normal. 

It squeaked and crawled away as Mario stomped toward it, bent on revenge. With a smirk, he crushed it under his boot. 

"Another crises averted!" Luigi, fists on hips, smiled with satisfaction. 

Mario rubbed his sore nose in reply. 

"Speaking of which, I have another problem, Mario! I was just in fixing my bathroom sink, do you think you could help me out?" 

"Do you mean plumbing?" Mario perked up. 

"Yeah, are you up for it?" 

Mario had already sprinted to the bathroom, however, before answering. Luigi soon followed and both kneeled in front of the broken sink. 

"I think it's clogged, but I'm not sure why. Next to just taking it all apart, nothing has helped!" 

"Hhhmm," Mario eye-balled it. Then sucking in his breath, he hacked up a huge loogey and spat down the drain of the sink. They listened as it pinged down the pipe and faded away. 

"Zhere! Zest-fully clean!" 

Luigi, having his doubts, turned on the faucet. To his surprise, the water built up for a moment and finally drained. He turned wide-eyed to Mario. 

"What sort of plumbing technique is that?!" 

"Zhe Super Spit!" 

"Ew. Well, thanks anyway. It was fine until I trimmed my mustache this morning, but all well." 

"Oh, by zhe way Luigi, do you happen to have any m-" 

Then unexpectedly, a distant rumble interrupted his request. The vibration grew and grew until the entire house rattled as the sink exploded away in a tidal wave of water. 

"Oh no!" the brothers exclaimed in unison as they were flooded out into the yard. 

Mario crash landed into another Piranha patch while Luigi recovered quickly and ran back into the house. 

"Ooohhhh! Not again!" Mario cried out as one of the plants took a bite out of his butt. Immediatly he sprang up and surged away before it would permanently fuse there. 

Using his hat to hide his exposed bottom where the material had ripped, he jumped back onto Luigi's porch while banging on the door. 

"'Ello? 'Eeellllooo?! I need some clothes please! And maybe even some mush-" 

Before he could finish, a pair of clothes sailed out a nearby window and landed on his head. 

"Zhank you!" 

"Get out of here!" 

"Okie," Mario slinked away and changed into over-sized green attire behind a tree. Afterwards, he made a mad dash homeward. Well, as quickly as his tight and long overalls would allow. 

Upon arriving at his own home, he quickly charged towards the closet. Inside, he shuffled through several identical Mario suites and carefully chose the most stylish one. Once refreshed, he trudged to the refrigerator, almost praying there were some mushrooms inside. However, the shelves were empty besides a few fire flowers. Closing the door with a sigh, he studied his magnet grocery list. 

Stars   
Feathers   
Pows   
Shells   
Boo Block   
Razor   
Pasta   
Lasagna   
Mushrooms 

Feeling a headache coming on, he opened his medicine cupboard filled with Dr. Mario's multi-colored "cure-all" pills. Popping a red and blue one in his mouth, he flopped on his bed discouraged. Now, he had an even longer trip ahead of him. Yoshi's Island. This was all going to be much more difficult than he thought. 

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To Be Continued (again) . . . 

**

And all reviews are still appreciated! 


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